“I don’t do obedience,” my friend said sharply when I was explaining the three vows I took as a Benedictine: stability, obedience, conversion of life. She is a strong, very independent woman who doesn’t hesitate to speak out when she disagrees with a decision made by unenlightened leaders.
Obedience is the one vow that most members of my community have the hardest time with, especially women, understandably sensitive to our culture’s history of patriarchy. But the concept of obedience in the Rule of Benedict isn’t blind obedience, but rather deference in the interest of cooperation and benefit for all.
The concept of mutual obedience runs throughout Benedict’s Rule: in practicing restraint of speech and deep listening, in leadership that seeks counsel among others in the community, in addressing disagreements, at all times being sensitive to the needs of others. It follows Christ’s teaching to his disciples in Mark 10: “Whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.”
Responding with this kind of humility isn’t always easy, even in community with those who share similar values, even with people you know and love. And remembering your role as a servant may take some practice and prayer. The successful functioning of any group that strives to build up each others’ faith depends on its members taking on the role of servant and responding to others with deference and respect. We must honor the possibility that they are God’s messengers and remember they, too, carry the image of Christ.
Prayer
Forgive me, gracious God, for pride that makes it difficult for me to be a servant. May love for my brothers and sisters in community enable me to be obedient to their needs, honoring their place in my life. Amen.
Improbable Benedictine 